This Changes Things

Hello there old friend! It's nice to talk to you again. Weeks seem to drag on, yet fly by with the blink of an eye. What do you do to keep a steady hand in life? How do you deal with unexpected change?

There are so many things that are about to change in my life, but let me assure you the one thing that will remain the same is my love for my boys. Since the beginning, if I'm honest, I chased the "approval" and understanding from the people in their lives before me. I struggled for a long time, as time went on I realized it was probably not going to happen. And just like that, with the blink of an eye it all changed.

I woke up one morning, and I am not really sure why but I checked my requested messages, and let me tell you my heart dropped. I was terrified to see her name on my phone. The amount of emotions that ran through me in the 3 seconds before I opened it was unbelievable. But I went through with it, and opened the request and let me tell you I was SHOCKED. The hard work that I had been putting in, just loving and caring for the two most important humans in my life, was finally making its way into the lives of the people in their lives.

As I moved through life, made progress and growth in my relationship and in my life there was always the thought in the back of my head that if his ex never "accepted" me as a new part of her sons life, the rest of mine could be a lot more difficult. It was something I was prepared to overcome, but wished and prayed she would be able to see I meant no harm to her. What happened next gave me the hope that this could be the real deal.

I have known for awhile now that I would do whatever it took to show I was here to stay! "Building a relationship," "co-parenting," "seeing his dad happy." It was like I was in a dream, and I full out began to cry! This is the situation I prayed for all these months. I had only ever wanted to be another person to love this boy, and his dad! And now I get to continue to do that, and know that I can do so with my full heart and not worry about stepping on anyones toes. For years I thought one of my biggest "flaws" is having too big of a heart, and loving WAY too hard, but now I know it is my biggest asset!

When i first started on this path in life, I followed so many people on social media who were going through similar situations as I was now in. I saw how good it could be when both sides come together, but also saw how hard it would be if that never happened. The positive stories, gave me hope and the determination to make sure my life became the good! I hope that one day, my stories can be that for someone else.

I am so excited to continue this next phase in the adventure I get to call my life. I get the chance to love them, all of them! I have so much love to give, and I can't wait to see what next great thing I will get the opportunity to concur. Here's to being the best person I can be for this little guy and his dad who I love so very much!